New Details Revealed in Stanford Sexual Assault Case - "ABC News" Published on Jun 9, 2016
Maybe you're not in the mood, maybe you want to wait until you're married, maybe you're just not interested...Whatever the reason, you need to be able to prove that you said "No." And now you can.
No more “he said, she said.”
Be clear about what you want—or don't want—without feeling awkward, pressured or embarrassed. Whether you’re into a guy or not, Consent Amour makes it easy to say what you mean, and mean what you say.
Is He Really That Into You?
You’re looking for a real relationship, but is he just looking for a hookup? Wouldn’t it be nice if there were a way to know for sure? Now there is: Consent Amour. Our female subscribers love our “Advance No” feature, which lets you tell a guy who’s asked you out—up front—that you’re not interested in just a physical relationship. If he’s just in it for the hookup, you’ll know when he gives you some lame excuse and cancels.
Some users really like how Consent Amour puts them in the driver’s seat. “I love this app,” says Valerie, a 20-year-old student at University of California. “If I’m really into a guy, I can send him a flirty request, a sexy selfie, or even a cute video asking him if wants to be friends with benefits. It’s fun.”
Set the tone with an Advance Notice “No Physical Relations” agreement. Send before you go on a date or get together with a companion.
No More Excuses—It Takes Two for Consent
Straight Out of the News: “Dear Harvard, You Win”
“In April of 2014, the Harvard Crimson published an anonymous, first-person account of sexual assault and its aftermath on Monday ... The letter, from the alleged victim, opens, ‘Dear Harvard: You Win.’ What had Harvard won? After nine months of resisting this student’s pleas for action, validation, and empathy in the wake of what she says was sexual assault, one of the best schools in the world has won her surrender. The letter writer said that she’d stop requesting that her alleged assailant be moved to a different dorm. She’d stop sending emails to ‘my resident dean, to my House Master, to my Sexual Assault/Sexual Harassment tutors, to counselors from the Office of Sexual Assault Prevention and Response, to my attorney.’ She’d dutifully swallow the pills her doctors had prescribed to combat the depression and anxiety disorders she’d developed, move away from her ‘blockmates and favorite tutors’ to a new residence, and allow campus life to resume as normal for everyone but her…
But when she reported the incident to college officials, they tried to dissuade her from pressing charges…If the alleged victim went forward with an Administration Board case, these officials told her, he’d likely be cleared. On the other hand, the school could not take action against the accused student without a full investigative process. Moving him to a different House in the absence of an Admin Board verdict would be unjust. What they could do was pluck the letter writer out of her residential support system, as if she were to blame, and install her in a new dorm. ""Slate.com - Harvard Student Writes About Being Sexually Assaulted, Then Ignored by Administrators""
In the Wake of the Stanford "He-said, She-said":
“One night in January 2015, two Stanford University graduate students biking across campus spotted a freshman thrusting his body on top of an unconscious, half-naked woman behind a dumpster. This March, a California jury found the former student, 20-year-old Brock Allen Turner, guilty of three counts of sexual assault...
On Thursday, Turner’s victim addressed him directly, detailing the severe impact his actions had on her — from the night she learned she had been assaulted by a stranger while unconscious, to the grueling trial during which Turner’s attorneys argued that she had eagerly consented...
‘I thought there’s no way this is going to trial; there were witnesses, there was dirt in my body, he ran but was caught. He’s going to settle, formally apologize, and we will both move on. Instead, I was told he hired a powerful attorney, expert witnesses, private investigators who were going to try and find details about my personal life to use against me, find loopholes in my story to invalidate me and my sister, in order to show that this sexual assault was in fact a misunderstanding. That he was going to go to any length to convince the world he had simply been confused.
'I was not only told that I was assaulted, I was told that because I couldn’t remember, I technically could not prove it was unwanted. And that distorted me, damaged me, almost broke me. It is the saddest type of confusion to be told I was assaulted and nearly raped, blatantly out in the open, but we don’t know if it counts as assault yet. I had to fight for an entire year to make it clear that there was something wrong with this situation...' "Buzzfeed - Here Is The Powerful Letter The Stanford Victim Read Aloud To Her Attacker"
Had Consent Amour been available, could this entire incident have been avoided? Could his unwillingness to ask for consent have prevented him from attacking this young woman, for fear that he would be "found out" that he never did ask for consent, and that the implications of that would be self-evident? Would Consent Amour have been a sufficient deterrent for him to find a willing partner who actually wanted to give her consent to him, instead of forcing himself on an unwilling victim? Could Consent Amour have given this victim the tools that she needed to tell him "No," in advance, so that she could just have a fun time at the party without worrying about being raped? These are the questions of the day and the ones that Consent Amour hopes to address.
We all know that women are sexually assaulted every day, but it seems that there are two types of attackers: The mask-wearing predator who attacks women he doesn't know in parks and deserted areas, and the less obvious, insidious creep who covers up his crime by saying that it was consensual, and who may even deceive himself that "she wanted it" but who "pushes the envelope" and preys on what he considers to be a "gray area."
With the advent of Consent Amour, men are held to a higher standard. They will be expected to formally ask for consent and to wait for an answer from the invitee. Her response will be documented. And with the advent of the Advance No feature, women can take control and tell men--up front--that the possibility of a physical relationship is not an option at this time. Take control of your dating situation.