Proof of consent—without spoiling the mood
Without a witness or proof of mutual consent, allegations of sexual assault or rape more often than not fall under the “he said, she said” category. On the one hand, if it’s true, it’s a devastating event for the victim. On the other hand, if it’s not true, it’s equally devastating for the falsely accused.
How many of these cases are actually true? And how many of them sprang from a vendetta, an attempt at blackmail, or feelings of regret, guilt, rejection or jealousy? We hear about the Kobe Bryant, the Josh McNary, and the Duke University lacrosse players of the world. While these are famous examples of what can happen to a guy’s reputation, career, and even livelihood, the fact is: false accusations of sexual misconduct are levied against innocent guys every day, all across the nation. You don’t have to be famous to be falsely accused.
That’s where ConsentAmour comes in. Just a few clicks away, the ConsentAmour App is there when you need it. For a low monthly fee, you have the ability—in the heat of the moment or well in advance—to send a request for a physical relationship to another ConsentAmour user. When your girl accepts your request, you have proof of mutual consent. Not only is it easy, it can be fun.
"At Vassar College, the daughter of a longtime professor had sex with her teammate on the rowing team...A year later...she reported that she had not consented and that she had tried to resist and felt trapped. After an investigation and hearing, the school expelled him. He sued, but a judge dismissed the case…"
'Lawsuit after lawsuit paints a picture of some accused college rapists that’s far different from the stereotype of the roofie-dropping frat boy or violent jock. “I’m not representing students who are being accused of violent gang rapes,' says Kimberly Lau, a lawyer who represented the accused Vassar student. 'I’m talking about the gray area, the he-said, she-said, two people in a room, two people drinking...and coming away the next day with different narratives of what occurred…' (Newsweek, "The Other Side of the College Sexual Assault Crisis" Max Kutner, December 10, 2015)
The Stats and The Fallout...
"...new findings reaffirm the statistic that 1 in 4 or 5 college women is a victim of a sexual assault, and research published in the journal Violence Against Women says that only 2 to 10 percent of campus sexual assault accusations are false." (Newsweek, "The Other Side of the College Sexual Assault Crisis" Max Kutner, December 10, 2015)
Translation: Up to about 200,000 college males (in the United States alone) will be falsely accused of sexual assault!
Other Situations and Settings. We're talking about campus sexual assault because it's in the forefront of media coverage, but the truth is that men can be falsely accused in any situation in which they engage in physical relationships, whether it be the workplace, the military, social settings, or any other environment.
The Harsh Reality. You know you’re a good guy who always obtains strong, affirmative and mutual consent. Unfortunately, colleges and universities are often caught in the middle of the "he-said, she-said" scenarios and, without evidence that mutual consent was freely given, it’s very difficult for them to make an informed call as to what actually transpired. Essentially, it’s a guilty until proven innocent system. Innocent guys are accused every day, they can be immediately expelled from campus, and that’s only where the nightmare begins. There are no guarantees as to how a campus Hearing adjudicator is going to rule, but the worst thing you can do is go into it empty-handed. Get the proof you need to show that you obtained consent!
Hold Others to a Higher Standard. You know the guys on campus, the ones who, at best, “push the envelope” and take advantage of a “grey area,” saying that the encounter was consensual...And who, at worst, are predatory wolves in sheep’s clothing who forcibly rape women, destroying their lives. Problem is, these guys are the ones responsible for the mess that we now find ourselves in. They cause the good guys to get caught in the crossfire, to be condemned when they were innocent. If they aren’t willing to spend $4.99 a month* to ask as many women as they’d like for a physical relationship, then there’s probably a reason. Good guys ask for consent and wait for the answer. Hold your peers to a higher standard.
Highlights from Fox News Reporting: The Truth About Sex & College with Martha MacCallum
Corey Mock was friends with another student, Molly, at the University of Tennessee at Chattanooga, and he invited her to a party. They both had a few drinks and Molly went to the bathroom, feeling dizzy and sick. Corey went to check on her, and then accompanied her to the bedroom.
Corey said that they “started kissing and everything was totally like a normal kind of hook up.” Molly recalls things differently. She said she didn’t remember much but “didn’t feel right about what happened…There’s no way I would have slept with somebody that A) I wasn’t interested in, and B) had absolutely no relationship with.”
Molly initiated a sexual assault claim against Corey. Initially, the university’s adjudicator ruled in Corey’s favor, stating that it “was not sexual assault, but rather that both students had acted irresponsibly.” Seventeen days later, the university reversed its decision, determining that “Corey had violated the student code, and [he] was expelled.”
“Corey appealed the reversal, but the school’s chancellor upheld the expulsion. In order to be exonerated, the chancellor ruled that Corey Mock would have had to show that he had obtained consent before having sex.”
Two states, California and New York, have created legislation statewide that “Yes means Yes,” wherein consensual sex must be affirmed and not just denied.
Martha MacCallum concludes her report by stating the following:
“It goes without saying nothing suggests that rape is anything but a horrible crime; that sexual assault isn’t a serious problem…We’re told women would never lie about this sort of thing. Certainly they should be heard and taken seriously. But women can lie, they can exaggerate, they can misremember, they can be confused, they can misinterpret, they can change their minds, they can seek revenge, they can feel regret. Not because they’re women, but because they’re human beings…"Fox News Reporting: The Truth About Sex & College with Martha MacCallum"